Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
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