i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Sext me about skeletons
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
