We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
