Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
