I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
