The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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