mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
