Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
