Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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