wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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