i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
