So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
