omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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