I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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