i just wanna soil my oats bro
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
