JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
