I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
