"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
