Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
