Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
