This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
