his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
