I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
