I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
