are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
