Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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