I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
my shit smells like andre
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There's always time for handjobs
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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