Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
