he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
