The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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