Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
