8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Hippo gnu deer
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
