Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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