he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
MIDGETS
????
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
