To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
