It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
