my room smells like sperm. sweet.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
