All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
