i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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