there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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