I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Plan B is the new Plan A
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
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