Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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