Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
