She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
