ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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