I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
