i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
