before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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