you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
FUCK WHALES
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