Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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