Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
