Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
