I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
